Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
