I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
