you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
