never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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