You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
