We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
