Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
