You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
