so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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