Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
