we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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