I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sarcasm needs its own font
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
