69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
