he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
