Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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