you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
