lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
