Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
