Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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