You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
