i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
