____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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