Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
