She said her name was "party"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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