I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
