i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
