i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
