It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
