Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
