I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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