How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
