meet me or not, i'm out of control
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
