North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
