Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
