The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
there is glitter all over my balls
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