end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
