3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
