I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
