They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
