the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
