I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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