Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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