i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
