It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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