Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
