Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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