My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
