I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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