The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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