I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
