so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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